


remember, today is the day you told me you'd kiss me

by majesdane



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-06
Updated: 2010-12-06
Packaged: 2017-11-08 01:47:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/437777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majesdane/pseuds/majesdane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The pause that follows is the longest one Maya has ever known.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	remember, today is the day you told me you'd kiss me

should we hold hands? we can't. but why? because, people will know. know what? about us.

so what if they know? it's better when it's a secret. why? so no one can take it from us.

\-- _the history of love_ , nicole krauss

 

 

**one.**

in retrospect, her first crush on another girl was in third grade.

sarah parker. auburn hair, green eyes, she sat one row down and two seats across. everyone wanted to be her friend, so of course maya had always assumed back then that the reason her heart always skipped a beat when sarah looked over at her and smiled was simply because, well, she was _popular_. and who didn't love sarah parker _anyway_?

not like she would have admitted this to anyone.

but she really, honestly, hadn't even thought about it after sarah had moved away over the summer. life had gone on and of course, there were always other people to be friends with. and all the girls that maya knew spent most of their time talking about boys, so she'd always assumed that's what girls were supposed to talk about. to think about. to want.

it hadn't even occurred to her that she might seriously like girls. even living in san fransisco. even with her having the most open minded parents in the world. even with all the signs pointing to the fact that yeah, she didn't _actually_ watch _bring it on_ for the plot. not even a little. she feels stupid now, for not getting it --

because, really, how messed up is that if you don't know _yourself_?

\-- but the truth is, she never even _really_ thought she liked girls until she met:

emily fields.

 

 

 

**two.**

_maya st. germain. i just moved here._

_hi. i'm, uh, emily fields._

(oh)

 

 

 

**three.**

emily points at a poster about maya's bed. _i love gwen stefani._

_my boyfriend's like, totally obsessed with her. his name's justin; i left him back in san fran._

_oh, i've got a boyfriend too. his name's ben. we're on the swim team together._

_yeah? what's he like?_

(the pause that follows is the longest one maya has ever known)

_he's cool._

 

 

 

**four.**

the second they meet, maya knows she is going to fall for her.

when they shake hands, when they lock eyes, all maya can think of is, this is the only girl i want. emily fields, this girl who looks like she's going to cry every time alison dilaurentis' name is mentioned and flushes a bright pink color every time their eyes meet. the girl who let herself be corrupted. the girl who looks way too good in a school-issued uniform and even _better_ in the swim team's standard plain, navy blue bathing suit. emily fields, who says a little, but just _feels_ so damn _much_.

and so maya kisses her.

she can't help herself.

and emily, for a moment, kisses her back.

she kisses maya back for a moment before she pulls away with a shy smile and maya is a bit disappointed, because really, all she wants to do is kiss emily and not stop until they're breathless, but really, she's more happy that emily isn't running. she's not really good at chasing, is the thing. but emily stays and even if they don't talk about what happened for the rest of the night, it doesn't matter, because they both _know_.

(this thing, whatever it is, it's not going to go away)

 

 

 

**five.**

_this is a picture of us_ kissing _. do you_ get _that?_

yes.

yes she does.

 

 

 

**six.**

she spends a whole two days angry, sitting in her room and smoking a joint and listening to sad songs on her ipod, which she knows is completely ridiculous, but really, she just doesn't _care_. because emily fields somehow snuck in and stole her heart without even the least bit of effort and maya _wants_ her, she really fucking does, but if emily's not going to want her back, then there isn't really any point in hoping. and yet, still:

she hopes.

not a single call. not even a text message. maya is angry that she isn't even being given a chance to be angry; she wants nothing more than to be able to hit the 'ignore' button when emily calls, to just delete her voice mail or text message without even seeing what emily has to say. and she knows that she's being completely ridiculous, knows that she should just man the hell up and call emily herself, because it's not like they've broken up or anything --

you need to actually have been together in the first place before you can break up

\-- but she is just too fucking stubborn to do it.

(but oh, _fuck_ her; stupid emily fields with her soft skin and even softer mouth)

 

 

 

**seven.**

_i just -- i'm sorry, but i --_

_look. i care about you, okay? so i'll wait. as long as it takes._

she doesn't need an answer from emily to know she said the right thing.

and for a while, it's almost enough.

 

 

 

**eight.**

(of _course_ emily didn't want her at homecoming)

 

 

 

**nine.**

_hi._

_hi._

_i think i've had enough space._

_well, good._

_good?_

_because i'm done waiting._

 

 

 

**ten.**

they meet somewhere in the middle.

maya isn't really sure who kisses who, but they're both staring at each other and then suddenly they both lean in and their mouths meet somewhere in the space between them and all maya can think is _finally_ , because this isn't like their first kiss, full of hesitation and uncertainty and the faint hope that it doesn't happen again. this is a kill full of reckless abandon, like fireworks going off on the fourth of july. this is emily saying, _i'm okay, but i still need you_.

and this is maya telling her, _i know, because i need you too._

emily smiles into the kiss, wraps maya's scarf around her hand and pulls her in closer. she's warm and sweet and tastes like sweet cherry lipgloss and maya thinks, really, how fucking cliché, but then she realizes:

one, she is definitely, completely, for serious, likes girls.

two, if she had to fall for _anyone_ , she's glad she had enough sense to fall for emily fields.

(and three, emily is a fantastic kisser, even if the whole lipgloss thing is seriously cliché)


End file.
